These 5 Simple Ideas Will Transform Your Relationships
A profound, relevant piece of neuroscience research
I learned of Dr. David Rock and his work about twenty years ago. He’s the Australian psychologist who electrified the business world with his 2008 seminal paper SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. It was such an important work that the Harvard Business Review called it “one of the top 10 most important new ideas of the decade.” But it doesn’t just apply to the business world.
If you’d like a way to more fully explain to yourself how your past and present relationships worked (or didn’t), read this paper. It’s a short, powerful read that can change your life.
In this work, he outlines five aspects of relationships that everyone wants from every relationship in their lives. You want these five “domains” in all your relationships—with your boss, your loved ones, family members, and even your pet. You even want these from companies you do business with, although you probably don’t realize it.
You will.
This is another highly relatable set of ideas that, once seen, cannot be unseen.
As Dr. Rock explains in a follow-up 2012 paper, SCARF has at least three kinds of value:
Explanatory—you’ll better understand the dynamics of your past relationships
Regulatory—use it to respond to others in real-time with new insight
Predictive—provides a solid framework for understanding how to frame conversations to minimize conflict and gain cooperation
It’s based on how we are all hardwired to subconsciously interpret every event in terms of either threat or reward.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
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SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others